The Unfinished Chapter - 76

Chapter 76

The icy path is white, pristine, pure
She walked, ever so slowly on the jagged pathway that ripped her delicate bare feet
Her slight, solitary figure was but an apparition in a land bathed in white
Silence
Was there a call?
Silence

Her bleeding feet left behind a maze of designs in red
Little pathways that were the only proof of her physical journey
She left nothing behind
She let parts of herself dissolve, dissolve in God’s beautiful nature
She left her kisses to the breeze, her hugs to the trees, her pain to the seas
Her heart, her soul, her spirit, they walked with her... for now

Time was irrelevant
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades
Everything tangible was measured, all things intangible are immortal, are forever
She put her delicate hand on her heart
It was beating, still
Icy glass blades continued to decorate the path ahead, she continued her solitary walk in pain, with pain

There were flowers too on this road
They were enveloped in ice
She bent, brushed a seemingly dead flower
It came to life, bringing colours of love to a landscape bathed in white
She smiled a little
Cupped her tiny flower in the palm of her hands, walked on

Tired, she was tired
She found a quiet corner in the far distance, she sat down, rested
She brought her knees to her chest, lay her head on her knees, hugged her slender frame
She looked at the path she’d walked thus far
The icy road was marked in her bright red blood
Some of it from her feet, some of it from her soul, most of it from her bleeding heart, which cried tears of blood

She closed her eyes, petted her heart, she was is, she is was...

The Unfinished Chapter - 77

Chapter 77

My love, my darling love

I see you in the stars above

So happy and so free

I wish upon those stars, send you a part of me

Quietly twinkling in the sky, blessing us from heaven above

I look up and blow you a kiss, send you a wave of my love

I close my eyes; spread my arms in wide, wide embrace

Sending you a care bear hug, smothering kisses on your face

Gifted by and born in our good God, what a journey this love has is

We know only beginnings, that's all our love has seen

In this physical world you may be afar

But all I have to do is look at my twinkling star

There you are, smiling and serene

I look up, eyes closed, against beautiful roses I lean

Now my heart says a silent prayer

This one's for all the lovers whose intense love sometimes makes separation hard to bear...

May our love soothe every aching heart

May our love caress every crying child
May our love flow all around the universe, and back again
May our love spread her wings and kiss the sky
May our love give hope, comfort, trust, goodwill to all beings
May our love find her joy in the tears and pain
May our love find strength in letting go
May our love pass through every atom and ion in the world above
May our love find its way back to God and realise that she was born from God
May God then take our love and help her find her way back home

The Unfinished Chapter - 78

Chapter 78

She lifted her head higher towards the open sky

The winds grew stronger as the sailboat sailed further... and further

Sailing to the heart of the ocean she wondered?

She felt the ocean’s beautiful heart

She felt her own aching heart rip through her emotions

Wet her pillow, bleed, bleed, bleed

She clutched her chest, felt the heartbeat, felt the pain

Sweet ocean breeze caressed her cheek

She was happy

She sailed further

She felt her feet sink into the ocean

Oh, the beautiful ocean, it embraced her

She sank lower, lower, lower, lower 

She saw the sea in all her wondrous beauty 

The coral, the dolphins, everything

Then she was rising

An ethereal force pulling her to the surface

She panicked

Was she sinking into eternity

Or, was she being pulled to the surface...

The Unfinished Chapter - 79

Chapter 79

I turn around and find myself I've lost

Will this pathless journey my life cost?

Frantic, I turn around and look

Through every lane, corner and nook

And then, I see myself somewhere

Somewhere between hope and despair

Hope because this love brings me strength

Despair because I'm afraid that no matter how much I love you, I could love you even more

I see you right here in my heart

You run through my veins, enrapture my soul, enthrall my spirit

No answer can ever satisfy a soul in love

This evasive answer justifies the purity of love in its silence

You, my love are scared, but I am too

But the strength of my love takes me through

How strong you are, you don't even know

You've given me so much, please; please take just a few steps more

Then you'll see what your heart is saying

And, you'll find me there, dancing to a tune that you and I have forever been playing

Love you forever I will

And, I will await that dance with you, until

Until you hold me, and never let me go

Time will stand still; doves will fly really, really slow

Even then, I will love you between hope and despair

Hope to be able to love you even more, despair on realising that this lifetime is just not enough to show you how much I love you, how much I care...

The Unfinished Chapter - 80

Chapter 80

Did you know you are the songs I sing?

Did you know you are the dreams I dream?

Did you know you are the words I speak?

You are my silence that encompasses my being

My joy, sorrow, laughter, tears

You are my very breath

You are my love

In the stillness of nothingness, you seduce my very soul

We're dancing this dance, matching steps

You twirl me, I close my eyes

Life's playing her keys perfectly

Forever breathe love into me; I shall then be alive eternally
I am in love with you so

I know not any other way to live

Each breath has a part of your soul in it

Where, how, why, I wonder not

I love you, your soul, your spirit, you

I love you so that you are not you, neither am I just I

And as I close my eyes tonight, I can hear you whisper, feel your breath, listen to you breathe

And in you whisper, I hear my voice

And in your breath, I feel myself

As you breathe, I feel myself breathing too

You are me, I am you

I am in love with you

A love that began lifetimes ago

One that will live on eternally

The Unfinished Chapter - 81

Chapter 81

Between the first waking moment and the next

Just when fairies sprinkle stardust and angels play a tune of love and joy

Just after the moment night turns to day

Just before the moment a new dawn is born

That's where our journey began

That's where continued, that's where it is

And then as the world rests in God's love and peace

That moment, that one fleeting moment is all life is about when lived with and in love

And then, the beautiful sky is lit with the warmth of the sun, the beauty of the moon, the stillness of twinkling stars, the calming clouds, and the allurement of two shooting stars in sweet embrace.

That's where I shall meet you then

A place with no name

A land where time stood still, yet everything was in motion

Somewhere where our hearts and souls find their freedom

Far from the entrapment of empty promises, beautiful lies

Far from the fear of loving

Far from the ambiguity of nothingness

Yes, that's where I shall meet you

That's where I am dancing my dance to a tune only a heart in love can hear

You looked in my direction, then looked away

But I shan't sing this tune to you

No, you have to listen for it, to it

And, when you stop, empty yourself of fear, judgments, assumptions

You will hear it, only just

It's a beautiful tune, ever so gentle

It's played on a harp called trust

To notes called love

It doesn't know a you, it doesn't know a me

It knows, sees, feels, believes in us

Love, beautiful love is always an us

I shall continue my dance of love, with love

And I believe you will come one day, that's how much I trust love

Till then though, I shall dance, dance till my feet bleed

This is a dance I am dancing for us

And, till you find your way to me and complete us

I shall dance and sing to any tune love wants me to

One day, you will listen to the tune too

You will find yourself dancing to me, and then, with me

And when you come close and hug me in sweet embrace

You will hear your name with every beat of my heart, with every gentle breath I take

And then you will know, that it was my heart calling out to you all along

All along in an effort to be whole again, to be complete with you, in you, with love, in love  

The Unfinished Chapter - 82

Chapter 82

The slight, solitary figure stood at the edge of the ocean

Waves came and went, kissing her delicate ankles ever so often

She strolled along for a little while

And then, she drew circles in the sand

Small insignificant ones that were wiped out with each wave

She watched, she wondered

Were these waves ending when they kissed the shore?

Or, was it the beginning of a new life as they returned?

The occasional seagull looked at her

Her eyes sparkled

They disguised the pain her heart now experienced

Love has wings

Her life will forever be love, even now

Every time she thinks of the abuse of love, her shattered heart, battered soul experience a loss so deep, a pain so brutal... she closes her eyes, her pain numbs her

And, if this pain and missing is what love has blessed her with, she accepts, gladly

She releases her love to the universe

She watched it fly, fly away

Her life

And yet, her heart was beating with one emotion... love

She walks, she walks... 

The Unfinished Chapter - 83

Chapter 83

Her voice was a mere whisper

She was but an apparition now

She put her hand to her chest

Her heart was still beating

The ambiguity of an abyss so deep, a path so distorted, was sometimes too much for her

She felt him in her heart, her soul, her breath, her very being

And yet, the night sky shattered with heartbreak tonight

The stars seemed a little dull

The quiet moon covered her face with clouds

Quite like a veil would cover tears from the crying eyes of a bleeding heart

And yet, when she lay on her pillow, she'd close her eyes when her soulmate closes his

And yet, when she breathes, her breath is his, just as his is hers... whoever he is, wherever he is...

The Unfinished Chapter - 84

Chapter 84

Quiet, caressing summer breeze beguiles the harshness of the afternoon sun

The world around her is a mix of various shades of green

Dancing leaves glistening in sunshine, sway this way, then the other way

The universe is telling her a story

She is listening

Times are a changing, she can feel it

She's lost, enraptured by the dance of nature

Her breath seems to match the breeze

And...

With every breath she breathes him

He was her yesterday, he is her today, he will be her tomorrow

He will eternally be her ever after

She'd gladly accept all his tears

If only, to see his heart smile, his soul fly

And then, she will meet him in a place with no beginning, no end

She will meet him there, where her love found life

Her love that blessed her with a gift so pure, so rare

She can feel his breath, hear him sigh

Her beating heart is him

Her breath is him

And when she bids this world goodbye

She will breathe through him

He is her

She is him...

The Unfinished Chapter - 85

Chapter 85

He wasn't here, and yet, he was
She could feel his presence, intangible, mysterious

He almost teased her, quite like a game of hide-n-seek

Her arms ached, ached to hold him again

She noticed autumn leaves dancing in the quiet breeze

She was dancing to the dance of life herself

She was flying now, without wings

Walking without feet

Her love gave her the strength to do that, and so much more

She closed her eyes, opened her heart and sent him a never-ending wave of love

She'd never loathe her tears

In each drop was a love so pure, a passion so great

That it transcended lifetimes, time, space, everything...

She could almost hear his heart beat, listen to his breath, look into his eyes

Eyes that told her a story so deep that his lips needn't say the words

His silence said it all

She was listening

She hugged him tight, held him

He wasn't in her arms right now, and yet, he was, he is

He is...

The Unfinished Chapter - 86

Chapter 86

From a day ago, to a day from now

From a week ago, to a week from now

From a month ago, to a month from now

From a year ago, to a year from now

From a lifetime ago, to a lifetime from now

The transient seductions of fallacy distract

She wipes away her tears, just as more follow

In this dance from then to now, now to then 

It's his presence she feels, his face she sees

And then she wonders, would he leave her again?

Just like he did from then to now?

Oh darling, how much she missed him

She closed her eyes, felt that familiar abyss overtake her very being

Falling, falling, jagged rocks slashing her along the way

She felt nothing

Pain metamorphosed itself into feeling

Feeling, but, she was numb, how could she feel?

But she did, she still felt for him

She still loved him, missed him

When it came to loving him, all the strength of the world couldn't keep her away

When it came to leaving him, the will of the world could do all but move her

She loves him, still

She misses him, still...

The Unfinished Chapter - 87

Chapter 87

One of those days, one of those moments

So much to be thankful for, and yet...

Her long hair flies carelessly in the light noon breeze

She notices glistening leaves doing varied dances to nature's tune

She listened as breeze sang to her

Different notes, various tunes

It all made sense

And, in that sense lay its senselessness

She found herself in a vast open field

Consumed almost by long blades of grass

She stood still, and yet, paradoxically she was moving

She allowed life to take her wherever it willed

Sometimes here, sometimes there

She smiled

She'd stopped wondering

Now, she had just one question that really had no answer

Mother Nature, God, angels, whoever is up there, down here, listening

Whoever bore witness, continues to bear witness to her love

The Unfinished Chapter - 88

Chapter 88

Luminous, the quiet night sky was luminous in its loneliness

Her eyes burned from the tears she cried

She pet her heart, wondered
A vicious dance between hope and death
Steps she didn’t follow, didn’t understand
Still, she was dancing
A tiny trail of tears made their way to the ground, silently
Earth was absorbing some of her grief
Only to be greeted with more
Gone were innocent days filled with dreams
She lay amid a scattered lot now
Questions, questions haunted her
Feelings mocked her
She swallowed hard
The pain in her gut killing… almost
And she lay, just lay
She waited for no answers, nothing
Just a visitor she was expecting
As she died another death tonight
Only to rise tomorrow, and die a million more deaths again...

The Unfinished Chapter - 89

Chapter 89

She tries calling out to him, she can't

Her voice is lost in the dreariness of everyday life

She was soft, but, love she believed would carry her call through

Tears welled-up in her almond-shaped eyes

She ceased calling, he couldn't or wouldn't hear her

She waited for a while as the crowds and noise engulfed her

Everything has an overpowering effect now

She slowly turned to leave

She left, just as quietly as she had come

Her love, her dreams, trying so hard to find a place in this heartless world

Sweet nothings, kisses, hugs, holding hands
These are her life, a life through love 

She was looking for him, hoping that he was looking for her too
 The wait is a long one as tears streams flow when her patience runs thin
For now, she is kissed with her own tears

But she'll look for her soulmate anyway
She knows she will find him
And when she does, she will hold on to him

Even if all she would do was break down and cry in his arms

The Unfinished Chapter - 90

Chapter 90

She was free-falling in a deep, deep abyss

A bright light with snapshots of a life gone by welcomed her

Almost mocking

She stretched out her hand to grasp at them

They disappeared, mocking her unabated

She turned, shut her eyes swiftly

The pain of separation, heartbreaking sadness engulfed her very being

A flood of tears gushed forth

Her pain, her friend now, was almost physical

Her eyes were still closed

She was too afraid to open them

Too afraid to see pictures

Snapshots of dreams that now seemed like an illusion

Slowly, ever so slowly she opened her eyes

Mirrors, mirrors all around her

She looked at her face in those mirrors

And, she saw him... 

The Unfinished Chapter - 91

Chapter 91

Surreal, not quite

The sound a ticking clock somewhere near, somewhere far

Breathe, wait, be

The quiet moon on a cloudless night withholds deep secrets

Wandering minds will play truant, yet again

The fallacy of it all was mocking

Yet, in so many ways love threatened to conquer

Love, dear love, what beauty you bring to this wretched world

Werewolves cries in a distance signals the escapades of a lost soul

Cotton clouds passed by the dark moon

Shielding it only just enough to be seen

Quite like the weeping eyes of a lonely lover who lines her eyes to hide her tears

She could sing another love song, but she didn't

Her arms ached for the lover she missed

Her heart sobbed for the soul she longed for

She danced to a tuneless song

Her feet bled, she danced anyway

And, as the ambiguity of it all dawned

She spread her wings and flew...

The Unfinished Chapter - 92

Chapter 92

She lived her life in love

She still lives her life in love

Her feelings were, are, and forever will be true

She thought that was enough

Was it, though?

She stands at the end of a lonely road

Is it the end or the beginning?

She knew not, she cared not

She wasn't here

She was consumed by the bottomless vacuum that refused to abate

Dreary clouds part ways in the sky above

Brightness caused by sudden lightening

Thunder roared like it was a lover spurned

Like it cried as it stood and watched tiny, scattered pieces of a broken heart

It poured thundershowers like never before

Like the sky was sobbing for its lover it missed so dearly

A lover that was its life with whom it had none

The sky was lonely, the sky was nothing, no one

So, who is the sky then?

Like the sky, is she destined to look far, far into the horizon
Rejoice at the meeting of the sky and earth in that distance?

She gasped for breath, fought back a tear, closed her eyes

Just closed her eyes

This was going to be a dreamless sleep

She'd rather not dream, than have those very dream paint pictures, only to betray her

The Unfinished Chapter - 93

Chapter 93

Delicate

Her tiny wings were delicate

She flapped them, ever so gently

They found flight, took her to a new place, a different time

Quiet gentle breeze caressed her long, silky hair

Stray strands kissed her slight shoulders, tickled her, almost

She smiled

She looked at her bosom, beyond which lay a beating heart

Her heart

She pet it, sang to it

Closed her eyes

A stray tear threatened to make its out

It did

But, this tear was different

This was a tear of joy

The joy of looking within

The joy of a few dreams, fewer memories

The joy of but a few hours

The joy of new wings

The joy of learning to fly... again, and again, and again, and again

The Unfinished Chapter - 94

Chapter 94

Molten wax, burning candle, intangible patterns

She watched

Ever so quietly

Ever so still

Her tears failed betraying her this time

She listened to words strung together, producing song

Songs that she once sang

Songs that held meaning, once up on a time

Words, they are mere words now

Sung in that moment of gladness

In the heat of passion

Sung while love seduced, played a game that someone else would take

She closed her eyes, drifted away to the tune

Depth, emotions, feelings, love

She opened eyes,

Chaos in the real world failed to enchant her senses

Words, how she loved them so

How she clung to them like a lovelorn lover looking at her half for the first time in a long time

Words, beautiful words

Gladdened her heart, gave her soul wings... and then,

Stabbed her through the heart with a knife so sharp, an injury so brutal, she saw a dove cry tears of blood

Molten wax, burning candle, intangible patterns

She watched

Ever so quietly

Ever so still

The Unfinished Chapter - 95

Chapter 95

The quiet of midnight rolled on nigh

A solitary star twinkled in the night sky

Her delicate wings found a flicker of life

She was weary

She twirled a slim finger around a strand of smooth, silky hair

Cotton like clouds danced to a tune so strange, so unknown

She looked at the face of the full moon

A moon promising so many dreams

Fulfilling them for some, shattering them for others

She watched, insentient, benumbed

A muffled sob defeated her throat, and made its way out

The murkiness of the night sky emphasised the quiet summer moon

Ah, moon, ever so lonely as that lone star disappeared

Beautiful crescent, hearkening ever so silently

It was bearing witness to dreams being made, dreams being broken

It shone, on the fragments that once were someone's dream

A dream that now lay pulverised, dissipated

Indeed, that moon shone, on all that was, all that is still to be

She closed her eyes

A slow, reticent tear crawled nonchalantly down her smooth, porcelain cheek

She felt it wet her bosom, its final resting place

As she mourned the dreams that evaded her still

The Unfinished Chapter – 96

Chapter 96

Her delicate fingers caressed the rose gently

The petals were soft, like her skin

Red like her cheeks

Her tiny finger made its way to the stalk

Pain

She noticed that the thorn tore the tip of her index finger

She saw a bright red trail of blood weave an intrinsic pattern on her hand

She bent, drew in a deep breath of the rose

Sweet

Her rosebud lips broke into a slight smile

She closed her eyes

Trance-like she danced to an unknown tune

It was new

She clutched her rose tighter still

This was one rose that enthralled her very being, twirled her as a long lost lover riding a shooting star

And with her tightened grip came more blood

As that thorn on the stalk ripped into her delicate being again… and again... and again

The Unfinished Chapter - 97

Chapter 97

She swirls, her flowing gown kisses the candle flames glowing all around

A trail of tears wet her cheeks

Burning eyes blind her for a little while

A wind blows in, gentle at first, stronger a little later

Falling sometimes, floating at others

It matters no more

Curled up tightly, eyes closed, this is good

Shut out everyone, everything

She feels nothing, understands nothing

Questions? She has none

Answers? She needs none

Reason? No, they’re always excuses

Logic? … … …

The bottomless abyss serenaded her

She was entranced

Her feet discovered life as she found herself swaying to a tune that enthralled

Swaying, she was

Her feet hurt, she continued anyway

She looked down and saw her delicate feet bleed

She felt no pain

Nothing

A stray branch entwined her thin waist

It pulled her from one place, transported her to another

She spread her arm, felt the wind pull her one way, then another

Her porcelain skin tore in places

She just watched

Then she became

She was is

She is was

… … …